Happy Labour Day~~~Not happy at all

Not happy true also ler...cause Is labour day not student day~~~CRAPPING AGAIN~~~What I have done today was as usual at home the only that different is I cried during evening and now my tears is out of my control again. Around 4 something sister back, the front gate sot sot deh wan ,so I had to open the gate for her and she ask me help her to carry things. I said No way and bla bla bla with angry tone. My mum was standing at the living room and she was so angry cause the way I treat my sis and she bla me back. I said yalo, I am like that 1 lo....useless 1 lo...Went back to room. She followed me into room and continue bla. During she bla I was a bit regret cause every sentence she bla was correct....how come I was like that? Or every moment I was also like that? Treat my sis so bad...I admit I am not a good sister...I am wearing a mask...How come the way I treat my sis was so different? Am I phsyco? I don't think other people or any single human that still have sense will treat her own sis like that except me. I was so heartache.Not the 1st time I treat her like that, I repeated my mistake again ,again and again. Never ending AGAIN. How come I can tolerate with friends but not my sister? Sis isn't more close than friends? Is it in my mind I keep on thinking cause she is my sis so I can treat her like that? Not I want to memperbesarkan this perkara. If this is the 1st time, I still can accept myself. But when flash back, I was 100% heartache. I am blaming myself. I know I write in my blog is useless cause when write or talk is very easy but when it's time to take action or do is difficult.讲就天下无敌，做就无能为力..Allow me vent my mistakes at here please....Everytime my sis didn't blame me. Don't ask me how come...I have no idea too. Maybe she too care and love me this sister? Not maybe!!! Is definitely YES she does!!! My temper to my sis is uncontrollable. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....I want to vent LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.........I can't accept how could I treat my sis like that!!! I don't even apologize to her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!How come everytime she like nothing wan!!!!!!!!!!!!!SCOLD ME LA AT LEAST!!!!!!!! I AM SIAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SIAO CHA PO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SOT!!!!!!!!!At 1st she was angry too, but later she went to room and disturb me. Why I have this kind of sis???Too lucky?Sigh~~~